Barry!

My girlfriend dont make me sad, my life does! im usually really happy but lifes has got me down latley and my girl has been keeping me sane! i just wish she knew how much i loved her! its kinda hard to be happy when your broke,going threw a divorce,uncle died, and now your grandmas dying and you are failling school! like how the fuck am i supposed to be happy when that shits happening? im just so sad, and im trying my hardest not to be around kayla! i didnt want to bring her down as well so i just kept it to my self ! but i cant anymoree im just to sadd and its like right when i become happy again its like im back to bein bummed two minutes later! idk why but it makes me so mad! maybee im depressed!?! i dont hthink so, i hope kayla dosent break up with me or finds a new man thats not bummed out!i dont know what to do im so lost! i dont know how to feel! the only thing that makes me happy is when im with my girlfriend and i cant ALWAYS be with her ya know? like i just dont want to loose her and i need to get over my jelousy and sadness and be happy! i feel so stupid for getting jelous tonight! she was just always by him! like idk why!?!!! i dont care though! she knows the minute she cheats its over! but i know that wont happen, cuz she loves me! i know that and she says that she wabnts to marry me but i dont think that she undertands what marraige really is! like maybe she does idk? i want to marry her! well i feel sick from crying so much so ima go fereal this time!