Barry!

so lifes got me down lately! i had to tell my girlfriend something and she didnt like it! Im always breaking pinky promises, ans saying the wrong things! like no matter how how hard i try im still messing up! shes like the most amazing girl in the whole world and if i keep messing up i know i will loose her! and that would destroy me! I love her so mucccch!!shes what people call “the one”, hmmmm im just always messing up and i dont know why i do so muchhh! i wish i could take back everything bad that has ever happened in our relationshipp! sure shes caused like 1 outa 20 things bad that has happenedd! all the rest i causedd, i just want her to know that im extremely sorry and that i love you!

Its not going so good right noww! im so confuseed about my life, and my relationshippp. what do i doo? my girlfriend says i think too much!! do i? i dont knowww, i just dont know about anything anymoreeee! i feel like i never say anything right, never! and when i tell her how i feel she say im throwin a guilt trip at her but im not im really just telling her how i feeel!! whatever i c an tell tomorrows gonna be a bummed out day! i dont care anymoreee! and im done with all other girls that are my friends! so no more friends that are girls! just guys, coz when i slip up and accidentaly say something i end up feeling like shit! all the fuckin time! why cant i just be happy???? idk someone just please helpp!

its like i wanns tell her how i feel and whats goin threw my head, but if i do then she will get mad at me! like wtf do i do? do i just keep shit inside all the time now? or what!? im so confused right noww! like fuckkkk!!!!!!!!!!!! im going to bed goodnight

and i love you kaylaaa klinkhammerrr <3333333333

i know that i shouldnt be but my girl just makes me so fucking mad and i cant take it!

i hate fighting with my girlfrienddd, its like everyday we fight atleast twice aday! im so fucking over it! im just not gonna argue with her anymoree, shes right im wrong!

i love you and im sorry for being a dick! your the one that i want the one that i need! you really are <33 your my life babyyy i love you so much and i would do anything i care about you more then i care about my own life! and i really would take a bulliet for you! i would die for you i really honestly would, but i really need you to tell me what i can do better! and dont say “your perfect” or “i cant think of anything right now” if you cant think then try harderrr please! i want to be with you for the rest of my life and i care about you so much kayla! i love everything you do and i love everything about you and i think that we have been fighting to much and we need to stop! what im about to say isnt a guilt trip its how i feel… i feel that most of our arguments are caused by me! and im gonna stop starting arguments! not that i do it on purposee! if i didnt have you in my life i dont know what i would be doin or where i would be! your the only reason i feel like living right now, if you werent in my life right now i would probably have committed suicide! really i prooly would have! because your in my life right now, i have someone to talk to,sing to,cry on,laugh with and love! ive found love, i never thought i would find love! but i did and its all coz of you, if you wouldnt have talked to me i would never be here right now coz im to shy to talk to girls in person! when i first saw you i thought you were the most beautifull girl in the whole world and that you had the most prettiest eyes ever and the most contagious smileeee! im crying right nowww! when you smiled and waved at me my stomach dropeed and i got butterflies from hell! i didnt know what to do! so i just raised my hand back, but what you didnt know is when you smiled and waved that simple jesture made me the most happies young boy in the world! then when i finally made you my girlfriend i wasnt sure how to act around you or what to say! and i was a complete asshole! i just love you so muchhh! then this year when i got that note saying “i hope we could date again” you dont even know how happy that made me! i wanted you back so baddd and to be honest i tried to find a girl to get over you but everytime i found a girl i just couldnt do it, coz i thought of you! if i ever lost you my life would go south! i swear to god if i dont get to marry you i wont marry ever! your the only girl i want to be with forever and ever! and i will do anything to make sure that happens! your constantly on my mind i think about you 24/7. i want to just cuddle with you all day and when i kiss you its just as special and magical as the verry first one! yeah i remember it it was in the slide thing at aroyyo grande park i was laying on you and we kissed upside down, then i got up and kissed you again! i was so happy to have a girlfriend!!! i hadnt had that many girlfriends before you, i was to shy and kinda a looser. and when i met a girl that didnt care that i was shy,not the smartest,short,only made out once, never held hands before! yeah i was really happy, i told all of my friends and family members that i found a girl and that she is really special to my heart! you are my lifeeee, my world and my universe! and when we exchanged v-cards, that was so special to my heartttt! ive been crying this wholeee blogg! i dont have the best life, but i do have the best girlfriendd! the most amazing person that i have ever met <3 i really would do anything for you, just name it and i will do it! ive never met a girl that i could be myself around! i feel so empty when your not around! your the other half to my heart! your the froot to my loop! i love how we write eachother note and how we keep them in binders, i love how we have multiple songs! :) i love you so much and you can tell me anything and i know that i can tell you everything too, i I also want you to know that you can tell me how you feel and if im making you mad or sad or anything! and i promise to try my hardest to understand talk (not argue) with you about it! i love you soooooooo much!

Ive only been in love once! and ive only loved one girl and my girlfriend has been in love before and that makes me so fuckin sad! like i feel like crying…

she says it was puppy love but thats bullshittt! i know that she was inlove with him!

whatever i dont even care anymoreeee…

Everyday i learn something new about you and its amazing i love you so much and i will always be there for you in the hard timees! we are gonna get married and be to gether for ever, i pinky promise you that! i love you so muchhhhh. You are my everything and yeah i know alot of people say that their girl is their everythingg but you really are my everything baybeee! like i would be nothing without in my life right noww! you have been with me threw the hard timess and i will be there for you in the hard times as well! you keep me sane, im going threw so much in my life and idk where i would be right noww! i honestly think i would be in juvenile hall right noww! you keep me out of trouble and i dont think you know how much i appericaite thatt! :) i love you and i hope that our relationshipp will continue to get stronger because your the only girl that i want to be with! i could never date another girl, not even after the fritst time we dated and then broke up, i could never date another girl to get over you! i think thats soo messed up, like i would never wanna get over you i would rather sit in my room and cry for the rest of my life then date another girl because what love would i give her? you have all of it forever and ever baybee! your the best thing that has ever entered my life and i want you to be in my life for ever and ever and your the besttt!

well thankyou for everything babe! i love youuu <3333

My girlfriend dont make me sad, my life does! im usually really happy but lifes has got me down latley and my girl has been keeping me sane! i just wish she knew how much i loved her! its kinda hard to be happy when your broke,going threw a divorce,uncle died, and now your grandmas dying and you are failling school! like how the fuck am i supposed to be happy when that shits happening? im just so sad, and im trying my hardest not to be around kayla! i didnt want to bring her down as well so i just kept it to my self ! but i cant anymoree im just to sadd and its like right when i become happy again its like im back to bein bummed two minutes later! idk why but it makes me so mad! maybee im depressed!?! i dont hthink so, i hope kayla dosent break up with me or finds a new man thats not bummed out!i dont know what to do im so lost! i dont know how to feel! the only thing that makes me happy is when im with my girlfriend and i cant ALWAYS be with her ya know? like i just dont want to loose her and i need to get over my jelousy and sadness and be happy! i feel so stupid for getting jelous tonight! she was just always by him! like idk why!?!!! i dont care though! she knows the minute she cheats its over! but i know that wont happen, cuz she loves me! i know that and she says that she wabnts to marry me but i dont think that she undertands what marraige really is! like maybe she does idk? i want to marry her! well i feel sick from crying so much so ima go fereal this time!

im so fuckin sick of crying and being upset! im fed up with fuckin everythinggg right noww! tonight was our sadies and i had a great time, i just fuckin ruined everything for my girl! i got super fuckin jelous to like the point where i was gonna cry! and then i was to shy to dance and i know she wanted to and i fucking ruined that too and then we were supposed to kiss at laser tag but we didnt! prolly cuz i pissed her off so muchh and she didnt wanna! im so fuckin sick of always bein bummed, for like the last week and a half ive cryed almost everyday! im just so upset! i feel so stupidd! going to bed goodnight! :’(

and me crying has nothing to do with her its just life in general! and tonight was the most jelous ive ever got!